Names that Stick

Growing up, one never wanted to be called one of these three things: ugly, black or nappy headed. In our young minds these were synonymous... and they stuck like a blood stain to your clothes, skin and hair. Many women of color, myself included, have spent many a day attempting to avoid these names of our youth that still ring hurtful echoes in our ears. We have tried to perm them out of our hair, bleach them out of our skin, weave or extend them from our very scalps. I refer to these names in my spoken word piece "Ugly" as words that were "implanted into minds/ to be repeated to brothers and sisters/ so that as a people are left behind". It is an arduous task to take these names of our youth and find deeper meaning, and further, to be empowered by them.

At 34 years of age, I am still running from those names though slowing my pace just a bit. I am only now making that slow tentative turn to face all that I have feared - mostly, my own reflection.The natural hair movement goes a long way to helping women of color and diversity become comfortable with who we our naturally without trying to excel to some unrealistic and questionable symbol of beauty.

My Nappy Roots

In 2005 I was blessed to be a part of the "My Nappy Roots" film project as a contributing artist on the soundtrack. My Nappy Roots, the impetus for Chris Rock's "Good Hair" film, takes an educated look at the Hair-story of Black America. Not until I recently reconnected with the film's director Regina Kimbell, did I decide to take a closer look of the contemptuous relationship that I have with my own curly, kinked, nappy hair.

I have been chemical free since 2004 primarily due to consecutive pregnancies which left my hair resistant to chemicals. However, in that time I have kept my hair in synthetic extensions to add length, style and body while saving me tons of time and energy. I have self-styled my hair with lengths and textures of various sorts, focused on the "look" of the finished style versus the health of my natural hair. The latter has suffered the brunt of my negligence. I realize that at the heart of my resistance to locking my hair or wearing it without the benefits of extensions is that even with braided extensions, I have always wanted my hair to look tamed and dare I say "acceptable". The moment my edges would start to show signs of new growth I would immediately do a retouch, adding stress and strain to my already damaged hair.

March 2011 marks the start of my truly natural hair journey. It seems as if for the first time I am learning to become comfortable with having my natural mane on display. At the core of this journey and personal struggle is me getting acquainted and comfortable with My Nappy Roots.

TalkShoe - Call - Good Gumbo Radio

TalkShoe - Call - Good Gumbo Radio
This and every Saturday join yours truly as we discuss an eclectic blend of topics.
10a Pacific/ 1p Eastern. Join live via telephone or online:

Call: 724-444-7444 Code: 80315#

If you wish to be featured guests, contact lily@lilyliketheflower.com or @mamaincense

Solutions Driven Conversation

This week found me scrambling for a replacement guest for Good Gumbo Radio as the one that had been scheduled for weeks had to cancel. With the topic being "Growing Pains" I wanted to ensure that it was someone that could speak to the issues facing youths today. As it turned out, through a not so chance encounter I was able to secure Travon Williams, son of Stanley "Tookie" Williams and founder of One Way Outreach as the guest! I could not have asked for a better set of circumstances and this is just another example of why I do not believe in coincidence. Join us this Saturday, March 5th at 10a Pacific/ 1p Eastern at www.talkshoe.com/tc/80315. BE a part of the solution!

Reflect, Refocus, Rejuvinate

As always, the time before a new years arrival is one of reflection. It is a time for me to simply stop and take stock of where I am and plan to go. What have I accomplished or learned over the last year? What further steps can I take in the coming year to grow as a person and accomplish my goals? 2009 has been a year where I have learned that what I want is not always what I need and that patience is a virtue that I must continue to develop.

My wish for all of my BP family is that this New Year provides you with the opportunity to Reflect, Refocus and be Rejuvinated. Stay safe and blessed and T.O.S.E. (take one step everyday) towards your goals. HAPPY NEW YEARS!!! *Hugs and Kisses*