For I have Synned...

After two weeks of trying to get accustomed to my new twists I hit a wall. My hair was flat, dull and well... short. After wearing long extensions for many years, I had grown used to the look and feel of full tresses flowing down my back. I felt more confident with them and had already been questioned as to why I had removed them in the first place.

Though I had been welcomed into a warm and loving natural hair community like a long lost sister, here I was wanting to return to my wanton ways. Would I still be considered "natural" if I added extensions to my hair during this awkward time while allowing my natural hair to grow to a length I was comfortable with? Why was I going natural in the first place?

The latter question was the kicker. I realized that I was feeling obligated to a community of people to stay "true" when truly I was not happy at the hair stage I was in. This was a personal process and journey and I needed to make some adjustments and decisions for self. My compromise was that I would add extensions that most closely matched the curl pattern of my twists (in pic top twist is "my hair" while bottom is extension..). I would still be "happy to be nappy" but with the added benefit of length and body, albeit from a outside source. Through use of latch hook and individual braiding methods, I added synthetic extensions to my hair. All is again right with my hair world... at least for now.

Flat Hair???

How could it be that my naturally kinky tresses do not have body? I thought that thickness and fullness of hair was a black woman's birthright and therefore the beast that we have been trying to tame via pressing comb, perms and flat irons?

The first couple of days after sister locking my hair I realized that I would have to come to terms with a couple of things or my natural journey would be over quickly: 1) The lack of hair extensions flowing down my back and 2) My flat, lusterless natural hair. The twists were neatly done in about 3/4 inch segments, the idea being that the more twists I have the fuller my hair will be. That is not what happened. My near shoulder length hair just hangs limply, teasing the back of my neck. Each time I look in the mirror I have to ask "Is this natural hair thing for me?".

To add insult to injury, a young woman who I only know in passing commented on my hair today. She said "Oh, you took out your extensions. Why? The looked so pretty". Now if I was not already feeling like I had a bed of limpness laying upon my head, I may have had a quick comeback. However, I too miss my extensions and the length and fullness they added to my hair. I did feel more feminine and "pretty" with them in. To all my fellow natural sisters I have to ask: Does adding extensions to my hair mean that I am no longer officially "natural"???