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Call ID: 51832
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Satisfied with 'Maybe Not'
I have been single, though dating for over a year now. After being in a 6+ year relationship, I find myself a little out of practice and have made several misteps along the way. I have made the assumption that people mean what they say and say what they mean and have better things to do with their time than to play games. This assumption, of course, has been proven wrong many times over.
In my early twenties, when I pondered whether or not I would find my 'Mr. Right' my answer was a resounding 'yes'. Late twenties, that answer shifted to a 'maybe'. Now that I am nearing my mid-thirties, I have come to accept the answer of 'maybe not'. It is not that I have given up hope, but rather have found that in accepting the possibility that there may not be a perfect match out there for me, I have been forced to look in the mirror and find the things that I love about myself and also things that I need to work on. Being satisfied with 'maybe not' has freed me from the intangible yet very real pressure of the need to be in a relationship. I know that many women and possibly men get so caught up in filling the position for a significant other, that we settle for someone who lacks the basic qualifications. I have been guilty of doing just that and exposing myself to unnessessary angst and drama, when I could have been happier and drama free with my Redbox dvd of the week. 'Maybe not' has allowed me to see all of the other things that are pleasurable in my life and brought to a head the fact that having a man in my life does not guarantee happiness. In turn, not having a man in my life does not guarantee unhappiness. If he, 'Mr. Right' does come into my life, it will be of his own accord and in his own time. I am not rushed or worried because ultimately he may be out there or... 'maybe not'.
In my early twenties, when I pondered whether or not I would find my 'Mr. Right' my answer was a resounding 'yes'. Late twenties, that answer shifted to a 'maybe'. Now that I am nearing my mid-thirties, I have come to accept the answer of 'maybe not'. It is not that I have given up hope, but rather have found that in accepting the possibility that there may not be a perfect match out there for me, I have been forced to look in the mirror and find the things that I love about myself and also things that I need to work on. Being satisfied with 'maybe not' has freed me from the intangible yet very real pressure of the need to be in a relationship. I know that many women and possibly men get so caught up in filling the position for a significant other, that we settle for someone who lacks the basic qualifications. I have been guilty of doing just that and exposing myself to unnessessary angst and drama, when I could have been happier and drama free with my Redbox dvd of the week. 'Maybe not' has allowed me to see all of the other things that are pleasurable in my life and brought to a head the fact that having a man in my life does not guarantee happiness. In turn, not having a man in my life does not guarantee unhappiness. If he, 'Mr. Right' does come into my life, it will be of his own accord and in his own time. I am not rushed or worried because ultimately he may be out there or... 'maybe not'.
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