Now That I Am Here

A year ago, I left the comfort of family and friends in an attempt to find safety and sanity from an abusive relationship. It is very freeing to admit that I, a seemingly intelligent woman, do still make mistakes when it comes to many life choices including relationships (and relocating). What I have found, is that you can not run from pain, stress and anger. Nor will running make an abusive psychopath change their ways and be any less loony. They just have further to drive to stalk you (hell hath no fury like a damn crazy dude)!

Now that I find myself in a quiet neighborhood, surrounded by people who look nothing like me (which makes me feel like I I live in my own little bubble), I realize that I am no more safe or sane than I was living in West LA. I also find that running has taking a lot out of me, I am no longer me when I am constantly looking over my shoulder. This reality has made me feel simultaneously tired and energized - tired of running scarred and now I have the energy to fight back. I have begun and long and strenuous legal battle with the ex. It would be nice if at the end of my many visits to Family Court, that I will have a fully executed legal document that says 'Leave us the hell alone' (or whatever the legal equivalent of that statement is). However, I will be more than satisfied in knowing that I am no longer afraid and running and I am willing to stand up and fight for what matters most - the safety, security and happiness of my children.