Bundled Blanket Syndrome

I have recently been diagnosed with Bundled Blanket Syndrome. This very serious condition causes restlessness, sleepless nights and results in ones making poor dating decisions. Some of the obvious symptoms include purchases of extra bedding and body pillows. These materials are then used to form a human like shape to take up the other side of ones empty bed. Call me crazy if you will, but I think that this syndrome is affecting women across the globe in one variation or another (i.e. the unfolded laundry syndrome, the overread romance novel syndrome). A more pressing concern is the apparent lack of positive, proactive, sincere and caring partners to take up that empty space. Unfortunately there seems to be an abundance of men who prey upon women who suffer from this syndrome only to cause these same women to have a Bundled Blanket Syndrome relapse. I share this very personal condition as a warning. Bundled blankets do not pose the high risk to your physical and mental health that making decisions out of desperation do. Frankly, bundled blankets sometimes make the better companion.